Last Thursday Jason spent a short while removing himself from all kinds of Facebook groups. I think he had become self-conscious about how many causes he had associated himself with and he rightly decided that no thinking person needs to be tied to so many worthless campaigns. During this process, however, he realised that at some point in the last four years he had joined a group called "1,000 reasons the South is better than the North".
Being a proud Surrey boy he began to read the discussions contained within. Unfortunately though this has just made it more difficult for him to feel happy about his roots. Within the group were approximately 80,000 hateful and ignorant people offering their own takes on why the North of England can suck it. There were also, amusingly enough, a few American visitors who had completely missed the point by chiming in about how the South "will rise again".
As Jason read through the misguided vitriols, I decided to read the opposing group, "1,000 reasons the North is Better than the South". Oddly enough it made me miss home. And not because the group was cynical and combative; just because it was so friendly.
Most of the reasons the South is superior could be reduced to the following:
These were about the most common, with other more ludicrous claims like "we have fitter girls" and "it's warmer".
The majority were either completely irrelevant, refutable or just a general attack on the North of England. The reasons in the Northern group however were much quainter. Four out of every five reasons were either about food, (Yorkshire puddings, Wigan pies, chippies, gravy and Hotpot), Cheryl Cole, our senses of humour or our friendly demeanours.
It really was quite lovely. And I think it's true. I've never lived down south, so I can't compare, but when contrasting the two groups there was only one group of people with whom I'd prefer to associate myself. Even Jason, proud as he is of his home, was forced to leave the group in disgust.
To top it all off there were 1.5 times as many people in the Northern group than the Southern. This means that for every two people that think the North of England is an utter shit-hole, three people have nothing but nice things to say about it.
This entire ordeal has led Jason and me to two conclusions. Firstly, Cheryl Cole is definitely sexy. Secondly, there should be a standardised intelligence test that people are required to pass before they're allowed to publish any content on the Internet, including stupid claims that the North of England never experienced the Industrial Revolution—it was started up North—or that there are no double-decker buses north of Watford.
I'll probably flesh out the first conclusion in another blog entry at a later date.
